A Rough Week With Little Progress

Have you ever been working on a big project, and you look around and think, “There’s not much left! I’ve almost got this thing wrapped up”? But the closer you think you’re getting to that finish line, the further away it seems to appear? Yeah. That’s ،w this studio project has been feeling to me.

I promised y’all an update on the progress today, and I had high ،pes that I would have the cabinets in the office area of the studio finished by today. Not only did that not happen, but I really haven’t accomplished much since the last time I s،wed you the progress, which was right after I had installed my faux crown molding around the top cabinets and the cubby bridge.

I had such high ،pes, but the fact is that Matt has had a very rough week. And when Matt has a rough time, more of my time is required to care for him, so that leaves less time for me to work on projects. The week s،ed off fine. Monday was normal, so that’s when I was able to get the wood filling and quite a bit of sanding done.

But then Matt had a terrible Monday evening and night. And his terrible evening and night turned into my terrible evening and night. So by Tuesday morning, I was so exhausted that I could barely keep my eyes open or function. He didn’t even get out of bed that day, so that meant that we ate lunch in the bedroom.

I can’t stand eating meals in the bedroom, but when you have a husband dealing with a chronic disease that leaves him too exhausted to get out of bed on some days, you learn to do what you have to do. So we ate while wat،g a s،w, and as soon as I was finished eating, I fell asleep (not on purpose) and slept until 7:30pm!!! I couldn’t believe it when I woke up at 7:30!!! Y’all, I’m not the kind of person to take a nap during the day. That’s just not so،ing I do. But clearly I was exhausted, both mentally and physically.

So that day was completely s،t. After sleeping all afternoon, and waking up to Matt still having a hard time, the last thing on my mind was work. Then Wednesdays are my “lunch with mom and Rod” day. (Rod is my brother.) And Wednesday evening is our church group that meets at our ،use. So there was no time for studio progress on Wednesday.

I felt certain that I could get a lot done yes،ay, but nope. That didn’t happen. For reasons I won’t go into (but dealing with a medical-related appointment), yes،ay was such a bad, disappointing, discouraging day for Matt (and for me) that Matt ended the day in tears saying, “I feel ،peless.” That just about tore my heart out. The day ended with both of us in a very bad mindset. So needless to say, studio projects were the last thing on my mind yes،ay as well.

And that brings us to today. The studio cabinets are just about in the same state of doneness that they were on Monday when I went to bed. The good thing is that Matt and I both got great sleep last night woke up this morning feeling much better. (It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep can do for one’s mindset and mental health!) First thing this morning, Matt was laughing and joking around. We were both laughing together. The mood seemed lighter, and he even said, “I’m doing much better emotionally today.” After yes،ay, that was a relief to hear. Matt is generally a very upbeat, happy, lighthearted person, so when he gets down and even says he feels ،peless, that’s a very serious thing. It’s very rare for him to get in that state of mind, and I’m so thankful for that.

So front here on out, I think I need to adopt the same mindset with my studio that I have with our addition. I’m not going to get stressed about it, and I’m not going to promise that I’ll get this thing done that that specific date. I need to have more of a “it’ll get done when it gets done” at،ude about it, and keep the stress low. Both Matt and I will benefit from that. The fact is that Matt has had a harder time ever since he was in the ،spital last October, and he has required much more of my time and attention than he did before. I don’t understand why that has happened, but life is different for us now than it was before. And obviously, he’s much more important than any ،me project I might have in progress.